45. Lulu, Increase Bang-a-Bang, 1969
Our second winner was higher, however not significantly better, sounding just like the rating to a Bavarian youngsters’s cartoon. After her glorious work on ‘Shout’ and the title tune to 1967 movie To Sir, with Love, Lulu let herself down right here. That is the best way the Sixties finish, not with a bang-a-bang however a whimper.
44. Reside Report, Why Do I At all times Get it Improper?, 1989
One other weepy ballad, sung by a bald man barely clinging on to his ponytail. Regardless of the lacklustre efficiency and questionable style decisions (shoestring tie, leather-based tuxedo jacket, beige trousers), the judges nonetheless discovered one thing to admire right here: it got here in second place, with essentially the most excellent 12 scores of the night.
43. Lucie Jones, By no means Give Up On You, 2017
“Siri, sing me a Celine Dion B-side.” Welsh mannequin Jones tried in useless to inject any power, humanity or heat into this sluggish anthem-by-numbers. Its lyrics have been roundly mocked on social media as a result of its unlucky timing; this was our first Eurovision entry for the reason that Brexit referendum, when Britain informed Europe that we have been, in actual fact, fairly glad to surrender on you.
42. Scott Fitzgerald, Go, 1988
Inhale deeply. Breathe in that cheese. Like a wonderful Camembert, this slice of overblown schmaltz has solely ripened over time, and now has a perverse kitsch enchantment. Written by Bruce Forsyth’s daughter Julie, it unbelievably got here inside a whisker of successful, reaching an undeserved second-place. As his Gatsby-writing namesake as soon as put it, “Nothing is as obnoxious as different folks’s luck”.
41. Olivia Newton John, Lengthy Reside Love, 1974
As John Travolta would later sing, “Why, Sandy, why-yi-yi?” Earlier than she discovered big-screen fame in Grease, the fabulous Olivia Newton John gritted her tooth by this uneven marching tune. Snapping out the phrases “HAP-PY PEO-PLE”, she appeared like she was planning to chunk open their jugulars. The track is ostensibly concerning the Salvation Military, and that army rhythm offers it a unusually oppressive really feel. It’s like one thing they may play over a tannoy at Disneyland North Korea.
40. Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson, Sing, Little Birdie, 1958
Is it a fowl? Is it a airplane? No, it’s a husband-and-wife double act. Carr and Johnson gawp inanely because the little birdie flies previous their gaze (dropped at life by the orchestra’s piccolo). “Sing, little birdie up above / Sing a track of affection!” These with the best tolerance for twee may take pleasure in it; for everybody else, it makes a robust case for the advantages of fowl flu.
39. Ronnie Carroll, Ring-A-Ding Woman, 1962
This begins off with such promise. Together with his darkish attractiveness and powerful, even tenor, Belfast-born Carroll seduces us by the opening bars – earlier than launching into a refrain so irritating it has been confirmed to provide listeners mumps. Ring-ding-a-do? Ring-ding-a-don’t.
38. Ronnie Carroll, Say Great Issues, 1963
Again to make amends for 1962, Carroll returned to Sing Forgettable Issues flanked by three equivalent refrain ladies. It’s an enchancment on his earlier effort (although each songs got here in fourth place). A pleasant strolling guitar-riff elevates this above mere slush.
37. Cliff Richard, Congratulations, 1968
It might nonetheless be standard, however that unbearable earworm of a tune is basically nothing to congratulate. Nonetheless, Sir Cliff’s knee-popping dance strikes deserve a smattering of applause. They definitely made an impression on the time: after one significantly spectacular backward hop, his feminine followers could possibly be heard shrieking with pleasure.
36. Vikki, Love Is…, 1985
Vikki’s under-powered power-ballad might not have been prize materials, however her hair stylist definitely deserved a trophy. After Eurovision, the track sank with out a hint. Vikki has since renamed herself Aeone, and relaunched her profession with extra success as an LA-based ambient folks singer.