Cottontail (コットンテール), a newly launched Japanese movie, tells the touching and relatable story of Kenzaburo (Ken), a person in his late center age grieving the lack of his spouse, Akiko, after a protracted sickness. To honour her dying want, he embarks on a journey to take her ashes to the Lake District in northern England – a spot deeply significant to her.
It was not simply the great thing about the panorama that drew her, but additionally its connection to Peter Rabbit, a personality she had liked since childhood and the place she had made cherished reminiscences together with her dad and mom.
What begins as a cross-continental journey together with his son and household quickly unfolds right into a deeply private and solitary quest for Ken. As a husband and father, he struggles to attach together with his son, confronting the unstated emotional partitions that make expressing grief so profoundly difficult. By way of this journey, Ken seeks not simply peace for his loss but additionally a option to reconcile the previous with the current.
I discovered Cottontail a superbly delicate movie with a thought-provoking narrative. As an professional in ageing, demise and dying, significantly in Japan, I additionally discovered its depiction of grief real looking.
Like Ken, many people might really feel disbelief or denial when dealing with loss. Reminiscences of our family members can wash over us in overwhelming waves, catching us off guard in essentially the most sudden moments. Whether or not it’s a well-recognized scene that evokes a flood of feelings, a dialog with a good friend, or perhaps a fleeting dream, the smallest reminders – each joyful and painful – can floor at any time.
The foundation of those challenges lies in navigating a world that now not consists of our liked one. Psychiatrist Colin Parkes described bereavement as a psychosocial transition, a profound shift requiring adaptation to a brand new actuality.
Grief, he recommended, emerges from the breakdown of the world we take as a right, the beliefs and expectations we maintain in regards to the future and our plans. When loss happens, this framework collapses, forcing us to relearn find out how to stay in a world eternally modified.
Searching for one thing good? Reduce by means of the noise with a fastidiously curated choice of the most recent releases, stay occasions and exhibitions, straight to your inbox each fortnight, on Fridays. Enroll right here.
But, grief just isn’t merely about constructing a brand new life with out the individual we’ve misplaced.
Over a century in the past, the founding father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud emphasised the significance of regularly detaching from the ache of loss and redirecting our emotional power towards new relationships and pursuits. At the moment, in a society that always prioritises effectivity and productiveness, there’s an unstated expectation to “full” the method of grief and rapidly return to “regular”.
However grief resists such timelines. As I’ve argued elsewhere, therapeutic just isn’t about transferring on however studying to hold loss ahead.
That is poignantly illustrated in Cottontail: for Ken, scattering Akiko’s ashes in England just isn’t about leaving her or the life they shared behind, however about studying to stay with loss, weaving reminiscences of her into his ongoing life.
Rewriting the ebook of life
To grieve is like rewriting the ebook of our lives – a painstaking strategy of revisiting, revising, and reimagining a story that when felt full. The idea of “narrative id” captures this: not erasing the previous however weaving it into a brand new story that continues to unfold, the place love and loss coexist, shaping who we at the moment are and who we’ll develop into.
Rewriting life after loss is rarely a solitary journey – it’s shared with others. Ken’s grief is intertwined together with his strained bond together with his son, Toshi.
Preoccupied with work, Ken had uncared for their relationship, leaving Toshi craving for deeper connection. Now, drowning in grief, Ken faces the problem of reconciling his personal ache whereas rebuilding their bond – a dilemma acquainted to many experiencing loss.
A key theme in Ken’s grief journey is the “stiff higher lip” mentality – an emotional restraint that stops him from expressing emotions or accepting help from his son. This stoic angle, widespread amongst older males however seen throughout genders, ages and cultures, usually comes at the price of hidden stress.
My analysis with bereaved older adults reveals that suppressing feelings isolates people and blocks exterior help, making therapeutic and connection more durable.
Publicity picture
On his journey, Ken meets a grieving father and daughter who brazenly acknowledge their feelings and help one another. Their willingness to precise their emotions reveals the ability of emotional literacy – the flexibility to recognise and talk feelings.
This highlights the significance of grief literacy not only for people, however for wider social networks. When individuals can perceive and help each other’s grief, discovering peace with loss turns into extra attainable, and the method of rewriting life after loss turns into a collective endeavour.
The movie concludes with Ken chasing a rabbit by Lake Windermere for his granddaughter, joined by Toshi’s household. For Ken, the rabbit isn’t just Cottontail or a reminiscence of Akiko – it’s an emblem of hope, a reminder that transferring ahead is feasible, with renewed bonds and an everlasting love.
