DEAR DEIDRE: I FEAR my my girlfriend is dishonest on me together with her male finest mate.
Our relationship turned long-distance earlier this 12 months, and I reckon he moved in on her even earlier than our mattress was chilly.
I’m 28 and my girlfriend is 27. We’ve been collectively for 5 years. Her finest mate is 29.
Earlier this 12 months, I used to be supplied an awesome job alternative with a a lot better wage a few hundred miles away — and we agreed I ought to take it.
We’ve been saving for a flat deposit, and doing this new job for a 12 months will imply I can save sufficient to assist us purchase someplace collectively.
My girlfriend couldn’t transfer with me due to her job and household commitments.
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Since we’ve been aside, we’ve spoken on daily basis, and visited one another each few weeks.
My challenge — and it’s grow to be a critical one because the months have passed by — is that she has a male finest buddy, who she’s recognized since childhood.
At first, I used to be jealous of him — significantly once I came upon he’d been excited by her years in the past and so they had even kissed.
However she informed me that although everybody — even her mum — stated they need to be a pair, he wasn’t for her, and he or she beloved him simply as a buddy.
Finally, he and I turned mates, too. However over the previous few months, I’ve grow to be an increasing number of suspicious about them.
I really feel there’s a rising distance between me and my girlfriend, and each time I name her he’s there.
Typically she doesn’t choose up.
She’s informed me he’s stayed over a few occasions, and I really feel actually uneasy about it.
It was effective once I was round, however it feels fallacious now I’m not. I’m positive he wished one thing to occur together with her, and now I’m out of the way in which, he has the right alternative.
Am I simply being jealous and insecure or do I’ve motive to really feel this manner?
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s laborious to not grow to be jealous when your relationship is long-distance.
However her not selecting up the cellphone instantly, or letting her finest mate keep over – which he’d finished earlier than – and telling you about it, shouldn’t be providing you with motive to really feel so anxious.
That is about your individual insecurity and the very fact, as you say, that you just sense a rising distance between you and your girlfriend. It’s good to speak to her and get her reassurance.
Maybe you’re feeling lonely since you’re so far-off from her, or possibly you are feeling the job isn’t figuring out.
Be trustworthy with one another about your emotions and see if you happen to can prepare to see one another extra typically.
