For so long as pop music has existed, there have been love songs. And so long as there have been love songs, songwriters have been wrestling with what love means to them. We have now been informed that love is the most effective, that it could actually mend our souls, and hold us alive. However now we have additionally been warned that love is a battlefield upon which we will likely be torn aside, and ultimately killed.
Sitting someplace between these blended messages is what I’ll name the “ugly love songs” class. These are songs that concentrate on ideas like management, jealousy and emotional blackmail, all offered (to paraphrase U2) within the title of affection. It’s unlikely you’ll ever see ugly love songs popping up as a style search choice on Spotify, however right here’s what you may discover if it did.
First, songs with themes of management and possession. In 2020, a gaggle of psychology researchers used the phrase “you belong to me” within the title of a bit of analysis which targeted on male management, dominance and manipulation of girls. But these phrases have been sung in over 600 songs, by artists as numerous as Boyz II Males and Slipknot and used as a music title for the likes of Brian Adams, Steve Perry, Elvis Costello, Dean Martin, Suede and Sam Cooke.
Equally possessive phrases are additionally commonplace in lyrics akin to “by no means gonna allow you to go” (Led Zeppelin, Kiss and Jay Sean) “gained’t allow you to go away” (Nas, Trey Songz and Air Provide) and “gained’t allow you to go” (Daniel Bedingfield, Three Canine Evening and Elvis Presley).
The phrase “you’re mine” (or variations thereof) has additionally been regularly used, displaying up in a whole bunch of songs. After which there are artists that make possessions of themselves, like Little Combine and Selena Gomez singing “I’m yours” on Secret Love Tune and Come and Get It respectively, and Future’s Baby on Cater 2 U with the vomit-inducing lyrics: “What you wanna eat, boo? Let me feed you / Let me run your bathwater / Child, I’m yours, I wanna cater to you, boy.” Shudder.
Songs about jealousy
A fancy emotion which incorporates various ranges of anger, disappointment, irrationality, concern and resentment, jealousy has discovered its manner into a number of ugly love songs over time. Essentially the most well-known instance got here courtesy of John Lennon with Jealous Man (1971), which noticed him rework the lyrics of White Album-era Beatles demo Baby of Nature right into a show of continual insecurity.
Traces like “I used to be feeling insecure / You won’t love me anymore” make listeners sympathise with him. However maybe much less so “I started to lose management/ I’m sorry that I made you cry”, which present how hurtful and damaging the emotion might be to the opposite particular person within the relationship.
Elsewhere, alt-rock band Weezer’s music No One Else is described by its songwriter Rivers Cuomo as being “concerning the jealous-obsessive asshole in me freaking out on my girlfriend” and incorporates the lyrics “I need a woman who will snicker for nobody else / Once I’m away, she places her make-up on the shelf / Once I’m away, she by no means leaves the home.”
Then there’s The Police’s infamously creepy Each Breath You Take which sees our heartsick narrator begging for his former lover’s embrace (“I hold crying, child, child please”) earlier than actually overstepping the mark and, now in full-on stalker mode, informing them that he’ll be watching their each transfer, breath and step. And never simply sometimes, both, however each single day.
Emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is the act of utilizing an individual’s emotions of kindness, sympathy, or responsibility with a view to persuade them to do one thing or really feel one thing, and it has cropped up in quite a few songs over time.
With out You, initially by the group Badfinger, and later coated by each Harry Nilsson and Mariah Carey, means that “it’s solely truthful” to let their departing lover know what they “ought to know” – which is that they’ll be unable to go on dwelling in the event that they comply with by means of on their need to go away the connection.
LeAnn Rimes goes down an analogous route along with her 1997 hit How Do I Reside?, the place she tells her “child” that they’re “all the pieces good” in her life, and that (I suppose logically) their exit would depart her unable to outlive.
To finish on a lighter be aware, a 12 months later, with tongue firmly in cheek, The Tamperer (that includes Maya) took the manipulation angle to the acute by singing time and again that “in case you purchase this file your life will likely be higher, your life will likely be higher, your life will likely be higher”. Word: I didn’t purchase it, so can’t remark, however possibly if I had, I’d be scripting this from my non-public seashore within the Maldives.
On the lookout for one thing good? Lower by means of the noise with a rigorously curated collection of the most recent releases, reside occasions and exhibitions, straight to your inbox each fortnight, on Fridays. Join right here.
