It’s the beginning of the Christmas holidays and we’ll quickly be settling right down to excitedly unpacking the contents of our stockings and unwrapping the presents below the tree. However, amid all this enjoyable and frivolity, the lawyer in me can’t assist however wonder if Father Christmas has thought his annual endeavour by.
So, with apologies to the unique authors (and with a promise that I can’t sing) allow us to check out the “12 crimes of Christmas”.
12 properties broken from the affect of an overladen sleigh
First, there is perhaps a difficulty about touchdown on insufficiently supported rooftops. And owners’ insurance coverage insurance policies are unlikely to cowl an “act of Santa”. A civil declare towards Mr F. Christmas is perhaps the simpler possibility.
11 border crossings with dwell animals with out the suitable permits
The same old four-month quarantine interval may need to be waived if we wish the presents delivered this Christmas. Nonetheless, magical flying reindeer, being non-native to Britain, will seemingly come below different particular import guidelines. Moreover, has the civil aviation authority been notified of the nonstandard plane?
Ten employment tribunals from overworked and undercompensated elves
All night time working, freezing climate situations and little or no regard for ‘elf and security are positive to spell catastrophe for staff’ rights. I’m not so positive that pointy hats with bells on and smooth felt sneakers rely as PPE.
9 counts of trespass
It appears seemingly that Father Christmas would possibly nicely be counting on some type of implied consent, so this may very well be the least of his worries. In spite of everything, there’s an expectation he’ll ship the presents, and people stockings received’t fill themselves. However a sure Mr E. Scrooge would possibly disagree.
Eight complaints to the data commissioner for breach of GDPR
He’s made an inventory and checked it twice – however has he checked if it violates knowledge safety legal guidelines?
All these letters, addresses and particulars on who’s been naughty and who’s been good want sturdy measures in place to make sure acceptable knowledge dealing with for such delicate data. Let’s not even get began on the query of consent. Is there a declare for respectable curiosity right here? Unlikely provided that it entails kids.
Seven claims for trademark infringement and passing off
Simply the place did all that branded packaging come from? It wouldn’t shock me if there may be greater than just a little trace of counterfeiting happening. We may notify HM Customs and ask them to grab the merchandise on the border as they arrive in.
Santa ought to learn up on the latest authorized dispute between M&S and Aldi over a festive gin liqueur bottle earlier than delivering any related presents.
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Six claims for patent, design and copyright infringement
The potential for mental property infringement simply appears to be getting worse. And IP rights apply nation by nation, so monitoring what proper applies the place goes to be a headache. And we’ve not even acquired to the query of how the elves have gotten maintain of all these secret recipes and confidential data.
5 stop and desist letters
To be served on a Mr S. Claus, t/a Father Christmas. How will we even ship such a letter? Let’s not suppose too onerous about serving any declare types ought to we determine to truly begin courtroom proceedings for any of this.
It appears an odd one to depart on the foot of the chimney with the mince pies, brandy and carrot. We’d higher get courtroom permission for this non-standard service. Perhaps proceedings ought to be issued on the North Pole as an alternative, although I worry a frosty reception.
4 counts of ‘sleighing’ below the affect
After having fun with one too most of the glasses of brandy left on the fireside, Santa is more likely to be in violation of the 1872 Licensing Act, which prohibits being drunk “answerable for any carriage”.
Learn extra:
Claus for concern: why we ought to be fearful about Santa’s well being
Three animal welfare claims
Vixen, Comet and Cupid are in uproar – reindeer are usually not actually meant to fly all night time and not using a break. In addition they have points about royalty funds as they don’t consider they get the identical recognition as Rudolph and the others. Although questions stay whether or not these issues would fall below animal welfare or employee safety legal guidelines.
Two class actions for product legal responsibility
With toys being made and delivered at such an enormous scale, there are sure to be some hiccups. And if defective presents don’t work as meant, Santa may face widespread complaints. I hope he retains an inventory of the merchandise made, or it may very well be a bumpy trip in making an attempt to work out what constitutes a defect. Issuing worldwide product recollects and ensuring folks find out about them goes to be troublesome.
All resulting in…
One very massive authorized headache
No surprise it’s just one night time within the yr. The opposite 364 are taken up with the attorneys! It appears very very like Santa would possibly find yourself on his personal naughty record at this price. The North Pole Authorized Division should be clearing the entire of January to answer all these pre-action letters and summonses as I sort.
