Life couldn’t get higher than this. I used to be in my late 20s, sitting in a seaside bar on the French island of Noirmoutier with Jan, a good-looking German I’d met just a few days earlier than; not daring to consider what lay forward that night, but in addition, pondering of nothing else.
Each time Jan touched my arm, I felt a thrill. He may have been touching me accidentally as he reached for his drink, however I hoped he wasn’t.
Jan’s palms had been extensive and succesful, not just like the boy I’d simply completed with in London, who may barely open a crisp packet. I used to be very prepared for a vacation fling, however I had not anticipated to fall in love on my final night time.
Even now, all these years later, I nonetheless consider Jan typically, particularly in the course of the summer time months. He’s the ghost of holidays previous, earlier than marriage, earlier than I had children, earlier than I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini, after I may simply resolve to pack up and go. Once I was younger and free and boys on seashores may nonetheless pierce my coronary heart.
It was 2001 and I used to be on vacation with my brother, who’s nice firm, and who loved chasing boys with me – typically the identical ones.
‘Our palms had been throughout one another, inside one another’s garments,’ says Annabel Bond
We’d stopped at Noirmoutier, within the Vendee area, on our method south. White homes with blue shutters and crimson roofs pressed up towards blue skies, salt marshes carved the panorama into glittering squares. Everyone travelled all over the place by bike.
The bike rent place was the place I’d first seen Jan, two days earlier. Mid-30s, a large pleasant face and a barely receding hairline that didn’t diminish his handsomeness. His French was wonderful, his vest confirmed off his broad shoulders. He smiled at me earlier than he pedalled competently away.
My brother and I adopted, much less effectively, however quickly Âhappiness overtook us and we whooped our approach to the ÂPassage du Gois, a street to the mainland that reveals itself solely at low tide.
As we rode by means of the glimmering flatlands, I seen Jan forward of us. My brother is chatty, so it was pure for him to wave at Jan as we received shut. Maybe my brother had additionally admired Jan from behind, as a result of he was quickly making small speak concerning the marvellousness of French bike lanes.
I didn’t say a lot; I used to be shy socially, and I used to be busy admiring Jan’s calves. Turned out Jan led bicycle excursions to unique locations, therefore the calves and the language abilities. The following day we ran into Jan once more, at a fete in one of many island’s villages. Outdated males wheezed out tunes on their squeezeboxes; ‘throw the ring’ and tabletop tennis lined the pavement.
I’m good at classic video games (it’s trendy ones that baffle me), and although I used to be nonetheless shy with Jan, it was simpler to speak whereas attempting to throw balls right into a bucket. He was humorous and self-deprecating, even in ÂEnglish. He made a joke about Germans by no means making jokes, and he was cute together with his little nephews. He had a horny aura of capableness.
When my brother invited Jan for a beer after the honest, we sat on both aspect of him on bar stools, vying for his consideration. I used to be fairly positive I had the benefit – Jan was giving off heterosexual vibes.
All of us organized to bike collectively to Noirmoutier city the next afternoon, our final day. By the point we reached Plage De Dames, it was too late to swim however the bar was open. Jan purchased us all a beer, after which one other. My brother just isn’t a giant drinker, and after some time he peeled off to speak to different Âindividuals. Eventually I had Jan to myself! And the alcohol made it simpler to counsel we take a stroll on the seaside, simply us.
As we walked up the uneven sand, we bumped shoulders, touched fingers, leant into one another.
When Jan put his arm spherical me, I lapsed into silence. All of the sudden I felt awkward. However after I checked out him, he put his hand on my face and got here in for a kiss. My awkwardness dropped away and I kissed him again enthusiastically.
We kissed for a very long time. Then we lay down on the seaside and pressed into one another. As I’d suspected, Jan was very succesful. It was darkish, I used to be tipsy from three bottles of beer, dizzy with lust. Our palms had been throughout one another, inside one another’s garments.
‘I urged we go to the seaside, simply the 2 of us, and I kissed him again longingly’
In my youthful exuberance, I’d have had intercourse proper then and there on the seaside. However Jan was extra smart and resisted my makes an attempt to drag off his belt. ‘It’s best to in all probability go dwelling,’ he stated lastly.
‘Ought to I?’ My coronary heart was aching, which was ridiculous; I hardly knew him. I hugged him, burying my face in his chest. I knew I’d in all probability by no means see him once more, and it harm. Pheromones perhaps; maybe Jan and I had been extraordinarily genetically appropriate. Or perhaps it was simpler for me to fall for somebody who was unavailable.
We did e mail backwards and forwards for some time. In contrast to most vacation romances, I used to be determined for Jan to come back to London or to go to him in Berlin. However he didn’t counsel it, so neither did I. However I by no means forgot our night time on the seaside.
Annabel Bond is a pseudonym. Names have been modified
